So, you've met the girl or guy of your dreams, and one of you got up the nerve to make it official. Now, there's just one problem: this new SO feels light-years ahead of you when it comes to experience, and your heart’s racing at the possibilities. Whether you're a relationship newbie or a sexual novice, there's nothing to fear.What will this mismatch mean for your relationship? Here's what you can expect upon entering your new relationship, straight from the lips of those who've been there, done that.Again, it's important to let your partner know if a conversation about their past is making you feel uncomfortable. As it turns out, almost everyone has an awkward sex story to share, whether they were a newbie at the time or not.Just explain to them why, and ask if they would mind cutting back on similar conversations in the future. Sex in itself is an awkward process, and nothing like the movies (trust us). Being butterfly-filled with new-relationship nerves is one thing.Throw in the nerves associated with being inexperienced, and stomach butterflies are basically a given."My first boyfriend was much more experienced than me, and it caused a bunch of mixed feelings," says Hannah*, a sophomore at the University of Alabama.
And if that's not the reason behind your relationship virginity, stand up for yourself and let them know what's really going on.
"Honestly, it made the experience weirdly thrilling, and never once was I expected to lead, which, as a (lazy) girl trying to learn the ropes, didn't bother me in the slightest." That being said, not everyone enjoys playing the passive role, and who can blame them?
If you're feeling overpowered by your partner's extra experience, speak up.
Conversely, if he was turned on by my being a virgin, I thought that would be a red flag for me because of my awareness of the misogynistic concept of 'deflowering' women." But lo and behold, "what really happened was neither of those things," she says."The truth is, if your SO isn't willing to handle your sexual inexperience delicately and respectfully, they are probably not the right SO for you." Why keep score if there's no competition?
When it comes to a mismatch in experience, comparing stats may do more harm than good.